How to kill a man with a can of creamed corn

1. Throw can of creamed corn at man, hitting him in a soft, sensitive area of the head (the temple, for instance).

2. Open creamed corn with a can opener. Use sharp edge of can-flap to slice the man’s jugular.
3. Put unopened can of creamed corn in microwave, and turn on at high power. When can and/or microwave explodes, man is hit by shrapnel and killed.

4. Place can at top of large flight of stairs. Man trips on can and breaks neck when falling.

5. Cut tiny hole in can and allow to sit for a prolonged period of time. After creamed corn has gone rotten, place back on shelf. Man unknowingly eats creamed corn and dies from food poisoning.

6. Start a religious cult that worships a can of creamed corn. Entice the man to join your cult through an ingenious program involving kind actions, attractive women, and lowered critical thinking abilities created by weekend retreats designed to physically and mentally exhaust him with team games, “sharing sessions”, and no opportunity for sleep. Tell him that he can become “one with the corn” by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid. Serve Kool Aid. Man dies.

7. Open can, and pour creamed corn into man’s nose and mouth while he sleeps. Man suffocates.

8. Train a pack of weasels to ravenously crave the taste of creamed corn. Pour can of creamed corn onto neck of man. Unleash weasels.

9. Open can of creamed corn. Pour creamed corn into engine oil compartment of man’s car. Engine seizes up while man is driving, causing an accident and killing the man. (Only works for North American cars - German or Japanese cars may only allow for slight maiming).

10. Pick up can of creamed corn. Bash man in head with it.