Friday, April 16, 2010

The Owl that comes to my house









There is an Owl that frequently comes and spends time in the distant trees of my property.

I have been told by a local Owl Expert, that he is a Mature Barred Owl.




















Saturday, October 10, 2009

Graveyard


I really want to go see my sister's grave in Seattle but I am so exhausted from this week, I can barely keep my eyes open this morning. She is buried in the 4th quadrant, which is the upper left hand corner, gravesite #171.


Work has been a nightmare and it doesn't appear to be easing off for next week, either. Today is my only day off. I need to stay home and cherish it, I think.


Friday, October 9, 2009

It's been 2 months since he died

My beloved step-father passed away on August 10th and everything is different now.

Five days after his death, my sister left her very ill husband and moved in with my mother.

Since then, we have had a Memorial BBQ for him that no one but the immediate family came to, we found out my sister is growing pot in my step-dad's tomatoe hot house, they have purchased 3 dogs online, given my sister's EX husband $15,000 to save his failing coffee shop (his 5th failed business in 10 years) and through it all I haven't received one message from them except for some drunk/high text messages from my sister the other night.

My husband has gone out of town to a seminar where his phone will be turned off and he will be out of contact. It's just me and the doggies this weekend.

I think I will go to Discovery Park and find my sister's grave. The weather has been just beautiful lately. No rain, no clouds hardly... just a deep, periwinkle blue sky as the perfect background with the leaves changing colors and the pinecones on the fir trees are really brown, too. The perfect setting for a visit to a graveyard.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

How to kill a man with a can of creamed corn

1. Throw can of creamed corn at man, hitting him in a soft, sensitive area of the head (the temple, for instance).

2. Open creamed corn with a can opener. Use sharp edge of can-flap to slice the man’s jugular.
3. Put unopened can of creamed corn in microwave, and turn on at high power. When can and/or microwave explodes, man is hit by shrapnel and killed.


4. Place can at top of large flight of stairs. Man trips on can and breaks neck when falling.

5. Cut tiny hole in can and allow to sit for a prolonged period of time. After creamed corn has gone rotten, place back on shelf. Man unknowingly eats creamed corn and dies from food poisoning.

6. Start a religious cult that worships a can of creamed corn. Entice the man to join your cult through an ingenious program involving kind actions, attractive women, and lowered critical thinking abilities created by weekend retreats designed to physically and mentally exhaust him with team games, “sharing sessions”, and no opportunity for sleep. Tell him that he can become “one with the corn” by drinking poisoned Kool-Aid. Serve Kool Aid. Man dies.

7. Open can, and pour creamed corn into man’s nose and mouth while he sleeps. Man suffocates.

8. Train a pack of weasels to ravenously crave the taste of creamed corn. Pour can of creamed corn onto neck of man. Unleash weasels.

9. Open can of creamed corn. Pour creamed corn into engine oil compartment of man’s car. Engine seizes up while man is driving, causing an accident and killing the man. (Only works for North American cars - German or Japanese cars may only allow for slight maiming).

10. Pick up can of creamed corn. Bash man in head with it.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Time for some reflection, I guess....

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile since my last post. I've been busy with taking care of Oscar. The cataract in his left eye turned dark last year. Turns out, that was a good thing. It matured and dried up - just like my ovaries and uterus will some day. By doing that, it restored a good portion of his eye sight back.

Now for the bad news. The cataract in his right eye never matured and about 5 days ago he started crying like he was really hurting - for no apparent reason. The next morning I took him to the Vet. The lens in his right eye had become dislodged and the eye was 50% larger than normal, due to glaucoma. Our only realistic option was to have his eye surgically removed.

At first I thought I was handling the entire thing like a real adult. Then the next morning arrived and I started crying like an idiot at the Vet's office.

Seriously... I was a Hot Mess.

The vet techs were all concerned and trying to comfort me but I was inconsolable. HOT MESS.

His wound is starting to heal now and it's getting "itchy". I feel for him, since my own skin itches all over almost all of the time.

I'm suddenly very tired just from reviewing all of this madness. More tomorrow.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The weather outside is delightful!


FINALLY the rain and snow have subsided and the sky is once again the glorious color of blue with huge fluffy clouds that kind of hug the horizon of the tree tops. Winter around here can be really grim and tedious but once the weather changes, there really is no better place to live. It's just stunning.


This is a shot I took for a realtor the other day. This is not my house, unfortunately!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

PMS and the Temporary Insanity Clause


So, Temporary Insanity as a means to legally commit murder always sounded like a great idea to me when I was a kid. Apparently, it's not that easy to actually use it successfully but today I was tempted to test it whilst ordering a sandwich at a local Subway.


See... this crazy little Island I am on doesn't allow corporations to own businesses here. Somehow these guys snuck in under the guise of being owned & operated by a local owner.


Instead of boring you with the details of how little it takes to get me on a rant, I will just say this. It was a cluster fuck of an order scenario and there were only 2 other customers in the whole place. If these geniuses behind the counter are the owners then I am Hilary Clinton.


Bottomline: I almost walked out at one point and they drenched my sandwich with sauce like it was on fire. Grrrr.